{November 29, 2010}   seriously?

I haven’t written my blog in so looong? I cannot believe this!!! Ah well Thanksgiving is over. My second one in this soon-to-become-my -home-country, I am stuffed with food and surrounded by family and friends, well fed and wined and dined.

So why do I feel unaccountably sad? Oh did I mention my sister is moving out? Totally random, But yeah she is moving out and she got all her furniture for the price of one piece of furniture in the states. I wonder exactly how cheap Indonesia is man!

Alright focus! I am hereby giving up on this blog. I am on a defeatist streak as of now.

Sometimes I wonder if I should leave behind some of my better literary work just so they dont fade into the same anonymity with which they were written?

As of 2010 july when I realized I wouldn’t be able to outrun the stupid alterego growing inside me and slowly taking over my senses, I decided that this is it. I shall stop being good and start being the badass I have always been inside.

I may also go back to becoming a recluse. that is a definite possibility as of now…


{June 22, 2010}   Confessions of a Kaotic Mind.

Its a crazy hot summer afternoon. My sister is about to leave for her home city in a few hours and I find that a few hours of afternoon siesta eludes me right now. I watched this movie called Julie and Julia.It is a very unique movie. Not your run-of-the-mill romance nor an action movie. It is..put simply a movie about the joys of cooking. But i hardly think cooking would have put me in the current state of disturbance. I am unable to sleep. The movie is about this girl who writes a blog about 524 recipes in 365 days. It is the only thing that she succeeds in finishing. Strangely enough I find that I relate to that feeling quite well.
Often I have come up with these brilliant plots for a book or a poem or a saga or a similar creative project that has my neural juices oozing with frank and unadulterated bliss! But very seldom do any of them actually emerge from my mental matrix. Trapped and lost in the mundane thought shredder we call “routine”!! Oh fearful word. ROUTINE!! I feel like the best creative moments of my ganglia are drowned by the white noise of daily work pressure. I can barely hear myself think because of the background radiation of stress.
So here goes. In a fit of sleep deprivation(literal here and not clinical) (more on the clinical later!) I hereby swear to honour at least half of the creative projects that arise in my chaotic mind and give fruition to at least a tenth of that half!
I simply had to get that out there though I know no one actually reads this s***.

{March 23, 2010}   Nerdification-rafts of people

So you know you’re a grad student when you refer to a mob of people in a visa office as a raft of lipids. Lipids are what our cell membranes are made of. Apparently they can segregate into phases called rafts. So this friend of mine went to NYC for some work at the consul office. He said he’s been held up there for like hours…(typical of any third world consul).
So obviously like the brilliant conversationalist that I am I asked whether there was a long line…(I mean seriously?). He replied saying it was more like a mob…something like a lipid raft.
We all groaned. Lipid rafts had been keeping us awake for nights on end. We were dreaming of lipid molecules with their hydrocarbon tails chasing us in our nightmares. But yeah, this is how a grad student looks at a mob….nanoscale assemblies of lipids into ordered rafts!

{March 23, 2010}  

{March 14, 2010}   The titan returned

The titans roar and spit their wrath

The boy his heart doth weeps

His father flees the vengeful assault

The mother sinks to her knees.

And the sky turns frothing red

The river runs full and dry

With blood of minions yet unshed

Comes forth a haunting cry.

The Titan stands and beats his chest

Implores the lords to hear his plea-

“Ten thousand years have I roamed these lands

Ten thousand years have the people lived free

More than that have I borne your anger

Grovelled at your kingly stands

Pandered to your angels fears

Railed against these iron bands.

No more shall this prodigal suffer-

The indignity of a Fate so cruel.

Now these strong hands shall sever

the heads of many a human soul.

Do you see this wretch ye Gods?

Do you feel his despair?

Soon the grounds will stain red

rivers from his bloodied hair.

Ten thousand years have I waited for this opportune time,

It is finally come with your pathetic creation’s bow

to my superior existence. It is a sign-

The time to fight has come ye Cowards,

Leave thy lofty abode and descend

to meet your adversary. From this day forward

no longer shall you depend-

on enchained Titans to answer your bidding.

The time has come ye heathens,

To step from behind your betraying masks

And answer the cry of your creation-

Although a legion of angels would not save them from-

The Wrath of The titans returned.”

{March 14, 2010}   Nerdification-pedi-blues-cured

With all that’s going on in my life right now my roomie and I was bemoaning how we never get to go to a salon and pamper ourselves. No pedicure due to exams,lab and papers to write! 😦

So instantly it occurred to me in the shower that if I could make a machine to automatically give me customised pedicures at home. Yes I am trying to put a lot of people outta their jobs. What we need is for nails to grow to a certain length and stop. Also we need them to grow in shape and be strong and not break. Also it would help if they were coloured. Painting nails is painful.

Here’s what I came up with. If we put nail growth genes under an inducible promotor ,that is nails will grow only when stimulated by a particular compound,then we could control growth problem! Just take a pill-nails grow. Stop and voila they stop! So the strength is tricky…maybe a fusion of nail cells with collagen or some other strong protein?

The colour now…lemme think…well my lab has a GFP(green fluorescent protein) tag. We could use those. See we’d have fluorescent nails growing in shape till a certain length! Yay! 🙂

{March 14, 2010}   My Days Of DAZE..contd.

Daze of mozarella.

So when I came to America I didn’t appreciate a particular dairy product as much as I do now. I mean appreciate the fact that it precludes all else in the American life. So here are my milestones in cheesy education.

1. So I thought cheese could be of only one colour viz. a vague yellow of a brand made by madly laughing cows. Correction. It can be of most pastel shades at the YOR end of VIBGYOR. Pretty much any colour is available.

2. I used to think cheese is like slices or spread. Wrong again. Can be shredded,fried,molten,spread,inside other food,covering other food,cooking all other food,embracing other foo… get the point. It adopts any size, shape and avatar it wants.

3. I thought cheese was called cheese. Big misconception. Apparently mozarella,parmesan,ricotto,parmigiani etc etc all refer to cheesy snacks. I’m still not sure whether I have this one right though.

I mean I was having lunch that day with my friends. So one of them takes out this packet filled with yellow fries. I ask him what it is. He looks at me incredulously. Like I am not a human being. (which apparently I’m not since I don’t like cheese…oops did I not mention that?) So apart from practically falling off the chair laughing at my miserably ignorant education he told me that they are cheetos..more like cheestoes..I thought. I mean we have cheetos where I come from they just don’t come with so much cheese.

Anyway I am still being educated and lots of people are tryign to convert my rebellious palate into liking cheese. But till date its still holding out! 😀 (I will be guillotined if even one American reads this. Cheese messiah insulted!)

Daze of nerdification.

I’m quite scared at how I phrase all my sentences in terms of heredity or genes. I mean that day I saw this question on my exam. The teacher had written in parenthesis that if we thought that we had a LTP failure because we couldn’t get the answer to the question;to rest easy as she hadn’t taught it. This cryptic message sent all of us into peals of laughter. Now if you’re not a bio major you’re obviously not laughing. The message simply said that if the question seemed beyond us it was not because our LONG Term memory(Potentiation) had failed us even after burning the midnight oil,it was b’cos she hadn’t specifically taught it. I wondered later that seriously? We were laughing over this? We were such nerds. Here are more examples of our Nerdification.

We refer to beer as an end product of yeast culture and wonder what would happen if we used mutant yeast..for eg. ones that can’t fun eh?!

We think of cleaning the house with absolute alcohol  before a sanitation check. Dehydration kills all animals right..toxicity index is very high!

We order a dish of neurons and rejoice over it.

We refer to memory loss as a dominant negative LTP mutation.

We obsess with worms mating and do a war dance when they do.

We feel wicked satisfaction if we can tear apart and invert(spill the guts out) of more than 10 minuscule happy glowing larvae in less than ten minutes.

We like the chromatinised versions of songs better. This means we like those which have lyrics from our genetics class sung to Akon or Jay-Z.

More on Nerdification Project later. When you relate to all of this you are officially a successful subject of this Project.

{February 26, 2010}   Gaiety

Ever wondered how heterosexuals are endangered species? All the good looking accomplished guys in the world are taken by equally terrible women or they are taken by equally good looking men! Either that or they are with their “brothers-in-arms” translated as their videogaming weedheading buddies. So girls with boys are endangered couples. But all of this is inane observation. My point is gay men are a gift to women. They are the best.

They are your best friends without the drama, hysteria or hyperventilation of your best girlfriend. They have no ego-busting-attitude problems like the egotistic men. They have no macho metrosexual i’m-still-a-male-but-need-hairgel-and-pedicure types that you get to choose from these days and they also lend you a strong shoulder without complications! See? Gay men can go shopping with you and won’t mind,they’ll discuss house decorations and provide their opinions,they’re cleaner and less moldier than most men and they’re not backbiting medusas like females! So for a girl a gay man is the best friend.

I have two best friends who are gay and every day I thank god for them. Long live gaiety! Love you guys… 🙂

{January 31, 2010}   Artechnology

Photography is currently a fad. Most people are fascinated by the number of new digital SLR top notch cameras around. Clicking photos has become an addiction for such proud owners of high tech cameras. Potential photographers vie with one another to “capture” moments and freeze them in digital pixels. So I wonder, is photography an art? Or is it simply a couple of commonplace,mundane pictures enhanced to look beautiful by technology? And why is it that we do not treasure blurred,dark photos supposed to capture that moment as much as its software enhanced alter ego?

I mean if you can take crappy photos and run it through a bunch of scripts to make it look like a work of modern art, then I guess anyone can be a Picasso…(though I don’t think he was too much into photography..sadly lacked digitisation..). People look at a potentially banging photograph and you can literally see the gleam in their eyes as they figure out how to increase contrast and brightness and do all sorts of technological trapeze artistry to convert it to natgeo level pic!

I mean am I the only one who thinks that a perfectly crappy photo taken by me at any instant,however blurry and unfocussed would be precious and inviolate? If I wanted natgeo versions of golden gate photos I could go online and get them. But the blurry camera  misfocussed pic that is my wallpaper is my own version of Monalisa! 😛

In the frenzy to use software and computer script to enhance photos people forget that they can simply take the picture again. also there may be some days that were faded,some birds that were unphotogenic and some flowers not pretty enough. But does that mean that photography is about the aesthetically appealing? About the perfect? About the beauty? About the image? About the skill? about contrast,brightness,removing redeye?

What about that crumpled,faded badly taken photo of my mum by me which has a special spot on the wall next to me? Technology did not touch its derelict remains but it is more precious to me because it shows the mood of the day it was taken…brings back memories of my first tries at photography and my joy in immortalising my mother.

So in the tech savvy domains of professional photography I wonder if its the expertise,angle and colors of the image that we see or the object in question? I love my digicam..but only because I can snap what I like when I like and keep doing it till I get the right image I want….not till I get a picture that is half good but can be touched up to look like a masterpiece. Besides even if I don’t, that terrible picture would be just as good, because its the essence,mood and spirit of the image that is important and that is frozen the instant a person clicks the shutter!

{November 21, 2009}   My Scream.

Why am I here,

In the middle of nowhere,

Shaking in fear-

Life is so unfair.


The empty rooms

echo in silence,

like haunted tombs-

In deathly cadence.


The tears flow unbidden,uncalled

Wretched I lay frozen and appalled

at my mind crowded in anarchy

Filled to the brim with lethargy.


So I sit alone and stare

Out of windows into dirty nights-

That unfold in tumultous despair.


Take me away, take me away,

From this place to the one I care.


Lift me away,lift me away,

From this hell to the clouds I pray.


And the silence screams into the darkness

Swallow me,Oh swallow me-ee!!


And the heart yearns into the stillness,

Embrace me,Oh embrace me-e!!


The fire burns down to ashes

The sun hides behind the stars.

The vacuum upon her closes,

Her screams ring from afar.


et cetera