IRIN de SADE











{March 14, 2010}   My Days Of DAZE..contd.

Daze of mozarella.

So when I came to America I didn’t appreciate a particular dairy product as much as I do now. I mean appreciate the fact that it precludes all else in the American life. So here are my milestones in cheesy education.

1. So I thought cheese could be of only one colour viz. a vague yellow of a brand made by madly laughing cows. Correction. It can be of most pastel shades at the YOR end of VIBGYOR. Pretty much any colour is available.

2. I used to think cheese is like slices or spread. Wrong again. Can be shredded,fried,molten,spread,inside other food,covering other food,cooking all other food,embracing other foo…ahem..you get the point. It adopts any size, shape and avatar it wants.

3. I thought cheese was called cheese. Big misconception. Apparently mozarella,parmesan,ricotto,parmigiani etc etc all refer to cheesy snacks. I’m still not sure whether I have this one right though.

I mean I was having lunch that day with my friends. So one of them takes out this packet filled with yellow fries. I ask him what it is. He looks at me incredulously. Like I am not a human being. (which apparently I’m not since I don’t like cheese…oops did I not mention that?) So apart from practically falling off the chair laughing at my miserably ignorant education he told me that they are cheetos..more like cheestoes..I thought. I mean we have cheetos where I come from they just don’t come with so much cheese.

Anyway I am still being educated and lots of people are tryign to convert my rebellious palate into liking cheese. But till date its still holding out! ūüėÄ (I will be guillotined if even one American reads this. Cheese messiah insulted!)

Daze of nerdification.

I’m quite scared at how I phrase all my sentences in terms of heredity or genes. I mean that day I saw this question on my exam. The teacher had written in parenthesis that if we thought that we had a LTP failure because we couldn’t get the answer to the question;to rest easy as she hadn’t taught it. This cryptic message sent all of us into peals of laughter. Now if you’re not a bio major you’re obviously not laughing. The message simply said that if the question seemed beyond us it was not because our LONG Term memory(Potentiation) had failed us even after burning the midnight oil,it was b’cos she hadn’t specifically taught it. I wondered later that seriously? We were laughing over this? We were such nerds. Here are more examples of our Nerdification.

We refer to beer as an end product of yeast culture and wonder what would happen if we used mutant yeast..for eg. ones that can’t ferment..fun fun eh?!

We think of cleaning the house with absolute alcohol  before a sanitation check. Dehydration kills all animals right..toxicity index is very high!

We order a dish of neurons and rejoice over it.

We refer to memory loss as a dominant negative LTP mutation.

We obsess with worms mating and do a war dance when they do.

We feel wicked satisfaction if we can tear apart and invert(spill the guts out) of more than 10 minuscule happy glowing larvae in less than ten minutes.

We like the chromatinised versions of songs better. This means we like those which have lyrics from our genetics class sung to Akon or Jay-Z.

More on Nerdification Project later. When you relate to all of this you are officially a successful subject of this Project.



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{November 14, 2009}   My customised shortcut to hell.

So here are the many ways I can get to Hell within a three hour period.

I would be dead if I drunk-

1. 12 glasses of rose wine.

2.12 glasses of red wine.

3.12 bottles of Budweiser budvar budvar.

4. 12 shots of scotch. (12 is clearly getting to be the mode!!)

5.12 shots of Gin. (whatcha tellya?)

6. 10 shots of Vodka. (probably decease faster but…hmm…maybe not..)

7. 10 shots of tequila. (O_o…..)

8. 10 shots of rum. (Now you’re talking…Happy rumming to Hell and back!!)

9.8 ¬†Bloody Marys. (Nah..dont want a messy trip…)

10. 12 Daiquiris..(aaand we’re back!)

11. 11 Margaritas..(I swear I didn’t do the number alliteration on purpose!)

12. 12 Kamikazes (yay…)

So people clearly 12 is my lucky number to hell….just wondering whether I can use combinations of these drinks..hmm..eh?

Disclaimer: This is to calculate death propensity on the basis of weight and gender and a three hour drinking period ONLY if you’re planning on going to Hell afterwards,NOT Heaven. Those trips are not supported by this shortcut.

Terms and conditions apply.

Copyright@drunkentraveller.



So I’m really tired and really bogged down with like loads of stuff to do..study I mean…thats the “loads” I’m talking about here and I have to hear lectures about brand names of labs!!! Thought I’d outgrown those when I was wearing cheap hogmarket stuff and the rest of the world was wearing Lee or Pepe..those were the painful days…so I hate brand names..NOT sour grapes I promise..this is totally neutral hating..(check out the use of oxymoron..nice hmm?)

But looks like high tech science labs can come up equipped with brand names too.!!!! ¬†Yippeee!! YAYEEE!!!! Life is made!!! OOOhhhh!!!…okk you get the general picture of how a grad student is supposed to react to the aforesaid labeled lab. Think of how a slumdog-pauperionnaire would react to a Gucci dress…

So I got this Holier-than-thou lecture on how I should be kissing their holy rear ends because they had accepted me into their hallowed be thy Holy Holy Moley Ignatius lab..the brand name I was told would make my life. Look good on my CV. Get me into an even more highly hallowed holier-than-them lab!!!! So I was told to brush my teeth and stock up on mouthwash ’cause I was gonna hav’ to start a lot of kissing soon!!

So then the guy went on to say that it was a rich lab and how I should be grateful pathetically that it was rich and I needn’t place any limits on my thinking because hey they weren’t slumdogs..

If I was a rich girl (na, na….)
See, I’d have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl
No man could test me, impress me, my cash flow would never ever end
Cause I’d have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl…naaaanaanaaa

Nice song..liked the pirates of caribbean feel…haha..

So notice how the central theme of what scientists are supposed to do and be is kind of forgotten legend. I mean ohh yeah we’re working for “humanity” and “cures” and “we care so we do” ¬†and a lot of other stuff that has come down to getting brand named labs and hotshot publications…

So what if the rest of the world is waiting for a cure..they don’t understand what we do anyway..just tell them its complicated and more time consuming..and build your own career..Get that Gucci label on your CV. Oh and for this you need to work haaarddd…..

The trick to sounding harsh and intimidating while talking mildly is all in the intonation. All you have to do is get the right Evil Dead expression and the correct zombie voice form Thriller…put ’em together and wham!!…you’ve got scary “wo-o-o-rk H-aa-aa-aard!!!” repeat the words a few times and you’ve got The Haunting sequel right inside lab. Add the spice of a¬†pin drop¬†silent atmosphere,automatons moving around, a wicked witch of the West supervising you and you’ll be set for Blairwitch project II. In technicolor!!! The only saving grace is the advisor himself who is sort of a shy sweetheart who actually seems harrowed at so many vultures picking at HIS award. Sigh…so no go..I tried..and failed…I’m not hard asssed or sacrificial enough to want to waste 5 precious years in a morgue..0oops..lab..this sad…so I’m going back to my previous hippie beer toting advisor..yayy!!

Dust to dust ,ashes to ashes..



Good morning..its a lovely sunday morning…err…spilling into afternoon actually,the morning was spent lolling in bed. So my grades have not arrived and I am pretending not to be concerned. My two cats Ferdinand and Dolce are driving me crazy especially since they have an acute case of fleas….!!!!!!!!!!!!! But they’re sweet and my aunt cleaned ’em out so all is good with the world except that I’m writing a totally pointless and not required piece of average literature and considerably boring those who have deigned to grace my blog with their presence. But people ;sometimes very mundane existences ,constitute extraordinary circumstances. Having waxed eloquent on how my hair tearingly frustrating blog can be of use to anyone…I shall retire for now. Have to attend to my daily ablutions. Has anyone ever wondered whether Cleopatra or Nefertiri ever got pimples and acne? I mean what would happen if Helen of Troy got acne…would paris have fought the war for a bee-oo-tea-phool woman…(screeech..) with err…ahem..acne? See I do believe history would have been changed if Ancient Egyptian beauties had breakouts of acne. Did they for instance use Egyptian mudpacks? If they did then I want some post haste!!!!! Besides ¬†they used to like bathe in rosewater…I doubt we’d get such luxuries in our age..I mean you’d get the roses but theyd probably be genetically modified and sporting like three sectored colors on the same rose…wouldnt work as well as the blood red petals of nefertiri fame. Sigh…sometimes I wish I had been born like centuries ago and in a different part of the world. AAhhh…have to run to the restroom now…

Just as an aside didn’t the great warriors of all history ever have an emergency in the middle of a war? Wonder what they did then…did they jump around from one foot to the other trying to ignore the call of the wild..? Imagine Mark Antony or Alexander leading their armies on regal horses and squirming for want of proper sanitation…imagine the wars that have been decided for this reason….imagine Ceasar living because Brutus had to go attend to more urgent nature’s calls just when he was about to do his stabbing act….lol…



et cetera