IRIN de SADE











{March 14, 2010}   My Days Of DAZE..contd.

Daze of mozarella.

So when I came to America I didn’t appreciate a particular dairy product as much as I do now. I mean appreciate the fact that it precludes all else in the American life. So here are my milestones in cheesy education.

1. So I thought cheese could be of only one colour viz. a vague yellow of a brand made by madly laughing cows. Correction. It can be of most pastel shades at the YOR end of VIBGYOR. Pretty much any colour is available.

2. I used to think cheese is like slices or spread. Wrong again. Can be shredded,fried,molten,spread,inside other food,covering other food,cooking all other food,embracing other foo…ahem..you get the point. It adopts any size, shape and avatar it wants.

3. I thought cheese was called cheese. Big misconception. Apparently mozarella,parmesan,ricotto,parmigiani etc etc all refer to cheesy snacks. I’m still not sure whether I have this one right though.

I mean I was having lunch that day with my friends. So one of them takes out this packet filled with yellow fries. I ask him what it is. He looks at me incredulously. Like I am not a human being. (which apparently I’m not since I don’t like cheese…oops did I not mention that?) So apart from practically falling off the chair laughing at my miserably ignorant education he told me that they are cheetos..more like cheestoes..I thought. I mean we have cheetos where I come from they just don’t come with so much cheese.

Anyway I am still being educated and lots of people are tryign to convert my rebellious palate into liking cheese. But till date its still holding out! 😀 (I will be guillotined if even one American reads this. Cheese messiah insulted!)

Daze of nerdification.

I’m quite scared at how I phrase all my sentences in terms of heredity or genes. I mean that day I saw this question on my exam. The teacher had written in parenthesis that if we thought that we had a LTP failure because we couldn’t get the answer to the question;to rest easy as she hadn’t taught it. This cryptic message sent all of us into peals of laughter. Now if you’re not a bio major you’re obviously not laughing. The message simply said that if the question seemed beyond us it was not because our LONG Term memory(Potentiation) had failed us even after burning the midnight oil,it was b’cos she hadn’t specifically taught it. I wondered later that seriously? We were laughing over this? We were such nerds. Here are more examples of our Nerdification.

We refer to beer as an end product of yeast culture and wonder what would happen if we used mutant yeast..for eg. ones that can’t ferment..fun fun eh?!

We think of cleaning the house with absolute alcohol  before a sanitation check. Dehydration kills all animals right..toxicity index is very high!

We order a dish of neurons and rejoice over it.

We refer to memory loss as a dominant negative LTP mutation.

We obsess with worms mating and do a war dance when they do.

We feel wicked satisfaction if we can tear apart and invert(spill the guts out) of more than 10 minuscule happy glowing larvae in less than ten minutes.

We like the chromatinised versions of songs better. This means we like those which have lyrics from our genetics class sung to Akon or Jay-Z.

More on Nerdification Project later. When you relate to all of this you are officially a successful subject of this Project.



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{February 26, 2010}   Gaiety

Ever wondered how heterosexuals are endangered species? All the good looking accomplished guys in the world are taken by equally terrible women or they are taken by equally good looking men! Either that or they are with their “brothers-in-arms” translated as their videogaming weedheading buddies. So girls with boys are endangered couples. But all of this is inane observation. My point is gay men are a gift to women. They are the best.

They are your best friends without the drama, hysteria or hyperventilation of your best girlfriend. They have no ego-busting-attitude problems like the egotistic men. They have no macho metrosexual i’m-still-a-male-but-need-hairgel-and-pedicure types that you get to choose from these days and they also lend you a strong shoulder without complications! See? Gay men can go shopping with you and won’t mind,they’ll discuss house decorations and provide their opinions,they’re cleaner and less moldier than most men and they’re not backbiting medusas like females! So for a girl a gay man is the best friend.

I have two best friends who are gay and every day I thank god for them. Long live gaiety! Love you guys… 🙂



et cetera