IRIN de SADE











{November 14, 2009}   My customised shortcut to hell.

So here are the many ways I can get to Hell within a three hour period.

I would be dead if I drunk-

1. 12 glasses of rose wine.

2.12 glasses of red wine.

3.12 bottles of Budweiser budvar budvar.

4. 12 shots of scotch. (12 is clearly getting to be the mode!!)

5.12 shots of Gin. (whatcha tellya?)

6. 10 shots of Vodka. (probably decease faster but…hmm…maybe not..)

7. 10 shots of tequila. (O_o…..)

8. 10 shots of rum. (Now you’re talking…Happy rumming to Hell and back!!)

9.8  Bloody Marys. (Nah..dont want a messy trip…)

10. 12 Daiquiris..(aaand we’re back!)

11. 11 Margaritas..(I swear I didn’t do the number alliteration on purpose!)

12. 12 Kamikazes (yay…)

So people clearly 12 is my lucky number to hell….just wondering whether I can use combinations of these drinks..hmm..eh?

Disclaimer: This is to calculate death propensity on the basis of weight and gender and a three hour drinking period ONLY if you’re planning on going to Hell afterwards,NOT Heaven. Those trips are not supported by this shortcut.

Terms and conditions apply.

Copyright@drunkentraveller.



{October 29, 2009}   While my guitar gently weeps…

guitar

 

 

 

My legacy

 

Woke up this morning, from the wrong side of the bed,

The usual fresh morning looked so surreal instead.

Rushing out now it’s a new day at school-Planning ways to break yet another rule.

I’ll never let my teachers shake my sway-

I’ll never let my dreams slip and slide away.

 

So would you believe that I’m growing up now?

Would you believe that I manage somehow?

 

Looking back now we’ve made lots of green,

Though we never got to be the real dancing queen-

Scared I’ve got my hands in too many pies,

Hoping to just let sleeping dogs lie

I’ll never let the winters cave me in-I’ll never let life get under my skin.

 

So would you believe that my dreams have changed?

Would you believe that my heart’s in flames?

 

So fate looks on with eyes of pity.

As I still drain the last dregs of sanity,

So you may leave me, but I’ll still go on,

Singing myself a sad old song;

I’ll never give the devil my soul for free

I’ll never let the sun go down on me.

 

So would you believe that my life is tough?

Would you believe that I’ve finally grown up?

igethigh psych2

 

 

 

My ode

 

Hello Mr Moon,

The day is nigh,

The night is old,

Your story is told-Now rest you feet awhile.

 

Hello my friend-

The world is yet to end.

For long years now-

You must go around,

In you light the weary shall mend.

 

Hail thee, so bright so cold,

Your light does freeze my very soul,

Your halo burns any icy flame

Adorns the sky, so proud, so vain-

As slowly your many faces wane.

 

Hail thee, my hope, my prayer,

Who with the stars, the skies doth share

Who races with the fading dusk,

Basking in the little child’s trust-Given up to your tender care.

 

Hail thee, so white, so alone,

A reigning queen carved in stone.

Your starry kingdom bows to you as you travel all night through

Watching, waiting in silent repose.

 

 

My raga

 

When the leaves play gently on the harp of the wind;

When the rain sounds gaily on the chords within,

When the woodpecker beats a steady drum roll,

When the wind whistles on pipes-notes-untold-

Merging and blending a melody unfolds.

 

When the brooks gurgle through many a chord

When the fish chime in of their own accord

When the bird sing out a merry soprano,

When the snow falls in matching allegro-The symphony plays, filled with pathos-

Hark! The clouds thunder in mighty applause.

purple haze

 

 

 

 

 

 

My illusion

 

Sleep on sweet child-Lest they steal your sunshine;

Lest your cradle slips and falls

Lest the heathen world doth call-Forth fears that do not subside.

 

Dream on sweet child-For the colours within are safe and sound

For the colours without would only get you down

For the spring inside shall last through winters outside-

And preserve the little smile so proud.

final fant3

Sleep on sweet child-

The havens are lost and gone

The silver spoon doth shine no more,

The baffled seas hath no shore-

The fantasies have all come undone.

Dream on sweet child-

Lest they squeeze tears from your eyes

Lest they throw your faith to the winds

Lest the world to you does sing-

And wakes you from the tender sleep so kind.

 

My stolen

 

Time goes by without a sound,

Days of watching the sun go down

Crying into the empty nights profound-

Come morning wearily moving ahead.

Swearing to finally forgive and forget.

Dreaming all night of those promises so true-

Every dream still reminds me of you.

 

Life goes by, no shape no form,                                                          final fant2

Gazing at the perfect sky so toen

Nursing hearts so sick and lovelorn.

Treaidng the same old paths so tried

Searching for your flickering light.

Humming every day those songs so new-

Every song still reminds me of you.

 

Age goes by, and I’m still here,

Playing hide and seek with the grim reaper

Alone in a crowd, infirm yet proud,

Waiting for life to come undone

The hero inside as yet unsung.

Thinking of those golden moments so few-

Every moment still reminds me of you.

final fant4

 

 

 



{October 24, 2009}   Stereoviewer story

Okay so here’s the long awaited vent of my famous stereoviewer story..lol just kidding. So I sat down to give the exam _01 and they handed us with a sheet with two figures side by side. We were supposed to look at them through this high tech viewer(made of lens,paper and plastic..hifi!!) and perceive the three dimensional image. That is apparently at the appropriate distance the two images created by our eyes would merge and lo and behold reveal the secrets of 3D imaging…!!!! Would have been exciting had it not been a crucial ten point question on an exam..

So I read the question and we had to use those viewers to look at the figure of a complex structure and find a particular residue hidden in it. So I started. I did a lot of gyrating motions with my body,forayed into figure skating techniques and capoeira stances and…couldnt for the life of me get a single image of the figures!!!!! AARGH! So I moved the lenses closer..farther..closer..farther…and did this many times for want of any better idea. Anyhoo it worked and voila there was my pretty 3D pic!! And it was a beauty. Problem was I’d forgotten the question.

Layout of the situation: Eyes glued to viewer with body twisted at an odd angle and frozen in time. Diaphragm barely moving for fear of losing that particular view..and the question at hand neatly forgotten. Curses ran fast and thick through my lips and then painfully and with considerable anguish I lifted my eyes away from the stereo and lost my image.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Road to Mental illness: Start the whole process again and this time try to remember the question along with endeavouring to execute the optical gymnastics required…..

Here’s to my fellow epic failures at stereo viewers..

May your Eyes Rest In Peace..

Amen.

P.S. Somebody gimme narcan please…frustration_release



{October 22, 2009}   Goose chase

So I am about to recount exactly how fried your brains can get if you endeavour on a grad student journey. So I come home especially late from lab with all my senses jumpy and jittery from sleepless nights and too much coffee and fall into bed. Then I embark on an exercise of admonishing myself to sleep. “Sleep…Slee-eee-eep…(threateningly) or you’ll wake up late and miss class….c’mon sleeeeep (hypnotisingly) ”  Well doesn’t work. HA HA no surprises there.

Then my bed vibrates like at least richter scale 7. I jump out of my skin and then slide shakily back into it when i realise its just my phone. I get a message which says quantitative homework is confusing and can I come online. Glad to get a respite from the tedious task of trying to force sleep onto riotous thoughts I speedily move myself to the computer.

Nows the juicy part. I pat myself on the back and say “Ah its ok,now I’m here..I’ll solve the sum in a jiffy!!”

So I read the question and talk to my fellow math tortured students on chat. Then I start expounding my knowledge on how the rate of disintegration is equal to that of synthesis…blah blah blah…she listens carefully….for about ten minutes there’s furious typing. Then pleased with myself I ask her if its done. She says that her initial answer was zero. So then this lenghthy conversation obviously means she’s wrong..right? I say err…ahem…humm…hawww….umm..its kinda right!!!

She’s ready to freak out. I’m still trying to fill air into my fast deflating balloon of smugness. epic failure. So having confused myself and my poor fellow homework group member(who was quite clear in her concept before I added my erudition to it) I loftily carried myself off to bed.

I shall recount the story of the magnificent stereoviewers some other day…..



{October 20, 2009}   Grad school fever

So the first exam of my grad school aka hell life is finally over after wringing the last breath out of us poor victims. I mean every exam we think we’ll study from before and do well..and then we land up praying to God, “Please let us pass this time and I promise I’ll study the next time…!!!” Ha!! Its like a vicious cycle that we need to break out of!!!! How many of you students feel the same way…????!!!!

God please give me free drinks..right now all I really need is a stiff rum and coke and a long drag of a cigarette and a thoroughly caffeinated coffee and a very miseducating movie or graphic novel!!!!

Amen.



{October 19, 2009}   champagne supernova

So here I am…the first day in my life in Hell…..which is also called Ph.D by the erudite and righteous wisemen. The world looks at us as if we are a class apart, a magnificent solar phenomenon just waiting to bag a Nobel and cure cancer..pshaw!! Actually we are a bunch of very poor pathetically intelligent students trying to fit into a world which won’t let us in..!!!! I mean the existence of any of us in anything other than the scientific world results in instant conversion of delta G to high positive values. The resulting balance of increased entropy is sadly lacking as we really do not get to let off our enthalpy..err..ahem..steam…
So end result you have couple of super intelligent dorks contemplating relativity, drinking champagne and hoping for a scientific supernova (read as a publication in a hotshot journal!!)
So here’s to all you Ph.D-frustrated-angry-with-life-and-lab aspirants..cheers!!!!!



et cetera